Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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