My brain says no but my pants say off.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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