Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you win again, gameday.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
