nut hugger
She said her name was "party"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The power of my boobs compel you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
