Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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