I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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