She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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