ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
