sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
