I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
