i just google imaged poop.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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