Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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