I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
