afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
