your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
