Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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