we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
