Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
