capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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