I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
