your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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