it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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