p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
