singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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