And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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