i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
