I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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