It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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