a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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