Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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