Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
