She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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