god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
