my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
