Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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