He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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