i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
