i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
