Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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