you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
