We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
