The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
