out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
