Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
