when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
