just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We left the knife in your bed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
