Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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