I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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