It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
