you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
