A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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