what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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